Our campus is in danger of a terrifying decline.

Forget the glowing U.S. News and World Report rankings. Nevermind the new College of Medicine or ever-evolving undergraduate programs. In the fall, the Illini fell from grace when we were bumped from Princeton Review’s number one party school slot. We should have seen it coming then, but instead we settled for third place.

“Champaign is obviously more fun than Madison,” said unsuspecting students. “The distinguished board of the Princeton Review’s party school evaluation team will surely come around.”

That statement checks out for now, but there’s reason to believe it won’t hold up for much longer. And it’s all because of one critical campus crisis — Where did all our drunk food go?!

We young, drunken Illini used to have an almost overwhelming number of restaurant options upon stumbling out of the bars at 2 a.m.

Pizza? The only issue was choosing between Antonio’s and Second Story.

Heaven in a breakfast sandwich? The Cracked truck is parked outside of Joe’s and there’s a Goy Vey with your name on it.

But those days are gone.

Second Story is “back,” but we all know it’s not the same pizza. Antonio’s just up and left without so much as a “see ya around” (not even to their own employees!).

And Cracked? Cracked is playing an intense game of hard to get. Sure, the trucks are out during the day and on the weekends, but where are they when we need them most: at 2:30 a.m. on Thursday, after we’ve downed too many Long Island pitchers at Brothers?

Clearly, the University’s party status is in peril. Luckily, the members of our Editorial Board see a few possible solutions, but we must act quickly.

Ideally, the Cracked storefront and Slice Factory will open soon, and we will have a variety of places to indulge in after a night of indulgence. We cannot solely rely on our local businesses to resolve our plummeting party potential: Students need to rally.

Make the most of the warm weather on Saturday and spend the day dartying. Ride the Rail on Sunday even if you have an 8 a.m. class on Monday. Go to wine night, even if you need to tell yourself you’re attending ironically.

If we don’t act now, we might never reach the pinnacle of partying prowess again. Or worse — we could fall to fourth or even fifth place.

Don’t let your fellow Illini down. Put on your best party face and get out there.