Bumping bass music. Strobe lights flash as you’re flashing in and out of fantastical consciousness. Your shoes are sticking to the ground with every step as if the floor is made of Hubba Bubba. Your fingers outstretched, trying to hold four plastic cups at once like it’s an Olympic sport.
Then, there’s a “bzzz, bzzz!” coming from the right pocket of your sweaty khaki shorts.
Ah, nuts. It’s 9:37 p.m. on a Thursday, and for whatever reason, Mom’s decided to call you instead of sleeping like a normal old person.
They call at some bad times, don’t they?
You’re hit with a lot when you first come to college: classes, dining hall food, RSOs and bances. It’s hard to balance it all while you’re also learning to become independent. Doing the laundry and the dishes is more time-consuming than it seems. You’ll probably feel like there’s no time to keep in touch back home.
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You’ll miss old friends, home-cooked meals and the hometown spots you memorized where the cops watch for speeding.
There’s a fine line to walk when it comes to calling your parents in college. You should be enjoying yourself and all of the opportunities being a freshman in college offers.
Yet, college is just as tough a time for parents as it is for students. You shouldn’t dismiss them completely. Think about it: While you’re gaining different experiences at school, your parents have lost something back at home.
No more daily updates at the dinner table. No more parent-teacher conferences and, hopefully, no more helping you with your math homework.
They miss your smile and watching you play T-ball more than they’re willing to admit. And they are, in all likelihood, the ones paying for you to be here.
While Mom may be inconveniently calling while you’re knee-deep in liquid courage, she’s back home. She misses you just as much as you miss her cooking.
So, how often should you call them, then?
Well, there will be a few nights a week where you should be relatively occupied, so maybe steer clear of those. You also don’t want to do a back-to-back. Calling back-to-back will make you or your parents more annoyed with each other. Or both.
If there’s something you’re keeping from them — like bad grades — it’s actually more suspicious to avoid calling. So, word of advice: Keep it pretty consistent. And don’t blame it on Canvas.
You don’t want it to feel like you’re still at home, but you also don’t want to feel like you’re all alone. The right balance to calling your parents lies somewhere between them knowing you’re alive and them knowing every time you go (or don’t go) to the library.
It’s important to be independent and open to new faces when you first come to college. But it’s also important to remember why you’re here and the life you had before finals and frat parties.
Ultimately, how you stay in touch with your parents is up to you. But try to aim for a few days a week, if possible. Your parents worked very hard to put you here. Throw ‘em a line every once in a while.
P.S. Call your grandparents, too!
Alex is a sophomore in LAS.
