If you had told 17-year-old me that she would be nearing her third year of long distance, she would never have believed you.
At the beginning of my senior year of high school, I looked forward to enjoying my last year with all of my friends in the same place. The one thing not on my mind was entering a relationship that would turn into a long-distance one.
Now, almost three years later, it happened to be one of the best decisions I’ve made.
While long distance is not ideal because of the hardships it brings, it can be one of the best things for a relationship. An indicator of true love is being with that person, even knowing that you will only get to see them a handful of times a year.
Going into my third year of a long-distance relationship, I’ve accumulated a list of helpful tips for anyone starting one this school year.
Get The Daily Illini in your inbox!
Communication is key
If there is one thing to remember, it’s that communication is the core of long-distance relationships. Whether it’s texting, phone calls or FaceTime, incorporating various forms of communication into your everyday life will help ease the transition into long distance, especially at the beginning.
Every couple communicates differently, but it is important to do so every day to feel close to the person you’re with.
Daily check-ins
One thing that’s helped me maintain my long-distance relationship is establishing a routine time to call each day. Put both of your classes or work schedules into a calendar, and find times where you are both free. Whether it be a long or short call, let your partner know you’re thinking about them while you live your separate lives.
One of my favorite ways to incorporate this into our day-to-day lives is to find five minutes in between or after classes and give my partner a short call to check in. Finding these natural moments in everyday life can make things seem so much more normal and make the person you love feel closer to you.
Plan visits out
Depending on the distance between you and your partner, planning visits can vary. I suggest comparing school or work calendars, finding overlapping breaks and working around holidays and time off.
A big visit every couple should plan is their anniversary. Whether that means going home, traveling to see each other or celebrating early or late, it’s important to commemorate anniversaries in any way, shape or form.
Same for Valentine’s Day. Open your calendars and decide if it’s best to celebrate early or late, and figure out where you can celebrate.
However, it is crucial not to go into longer breaks, like winter or summer, assuming that because you are both home, you will see each other every day. While spending time with your partner is valuable when you’re home, it is also vital for you to live your own life. This can mean taking time for yourself and spending time with family and friends.
Have the hard conversations
Fights, disagreements and tough moments are normal in every relationship, regardless of distance. But they might feel harder to navigate when you can’t work through them in person.
One of the most important things to remember is that the longer you push away any negative feelings or conversations, the worse things will get. As much as no one looks forward to hard conversations, they must happen.
Find a time later in the day when you are both free, call your partner and just talk. Be open with each other about whatever you are feeling, and work through it together.
Lastly, don’t mistake the distance for being what’s wrong in a relationship. It can be easy to blame negative feelings on the distance, but it is never the end of the world.
No matter the distance, both people in the relationship must be willing to learn how to navigate new ways of being with each other. And remember, that can take time.
It won’t be a quick switch where everything is perfect. Long distance is a blessing in disguise for relationships. You learn to love someone regardless of how far apart you are and truly learn to appreciate what is important.
