Have you been searching for that special someone on campus? Hinge, Tinder and other assorted dating apps are all drawing blanks? Are the cold Champaign-Urbana nights starting to erode any possible hope of future romance? Do you ever wish you had some dubiously crafted, bad pun-filled, University-themed pickup lines to finally make that college sweetheart connection? Well, look no further!
Each pickup line is carefully curated for a specific situation or person, so be sure to choose one that works well in the moment. For best results, try to wear your most school-spirited outfit for the occasion, just so they really know you mean business.
For the statue fanatic: “I’d love to spend Alma time with you.”
For the local wildlife enthusiast: “I must be a squirrel on the Main Quad the way I’m nuts about you!”
For those few days when every single sidewalk is a 3-inch sheet of ice: “Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I slide past you again?”
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For the landmark connoisseur: “Are you the Altgeld Hall chimes? Because you should give me a ring sometime!”
For the townies: “I wish I could C-U around here more often!”
For the gym rat: “I think this is the beginning of our relationship ARC.”
For when you find yourself inexplicably standing near the second-oldest experimental crop field in the world: “Can I see you again to-Morrow?”
For the bar frequenter: “I’d be Lion if I said I didn’t find you cute!”
For the mascot admirer: “I’m just a Kingfisher looking for my Queenfisher.”
For the commuter: “Are you an MTD bus? Because you showed up at just the right time.”
For exam season: “You must be the CBTF, the way it would be nearly impossible to cheat on you!”
For a night at Twarp: “If we didn’t end up together, I’d be one Blue Guy.”
For the Tomislav Ivišić devotee: “Are you the Music City Madness trophy? Because let’s just say I’d like to do to you what Ivišić did to the trophy.”
Hopefully, the object of your affection responds positively to at least one of these, and you can begin your fantastical collegiate love story. If they don’t, however, please direct any angry emails to my address below.
