Dust off those zebra pants and fire up that dusty Super Bowl Shuffle tape because 20 years after Sweetness, the Bears are looking super.

So what if quarterback Kyle Orton habitually overthrows his receivers by 10 yards? This year’s Bears have a defense that can carry them over a weak NFC and all the way to Mo-Town.

We stop the run, we stop the pass.

We like to dump guys on their a–.

Chicago’s league-leading defense has attracted comparisons to the ’85 team that held its opponents to a measly 12.4 points and 258.4 yards per game.

But this year’s Bears have been better – allowing 1.4 less points and six less yards a game. What seems to get lost in the comparison is the ’85 Bears’ offense, which was one of the league’s best. Orton’s 62.3 quarterback rating doesn’t make him the reincarnation of Jim McMahon.

He’s more like former Baltimore Ravens quarterback Trent Dilfer, who had a 76.6 rating in 2000.

The Ravens won the Super Bowl with the same stifling defense and same boring offense as this year’s Bears.

Both Dilfer and Orton had to pinky-swear not to screw up before being handed the ball each week. Combine that with a dumbed-down offense focused around a strong offensive line and running game. The Bears have out-rushed their opponents 11-straight weeks in spite of defenses putting eight or nine men in the box.

But even though the passing playbook is so conservative, it makes John Shoop’s third-and-10 run-up-the-gut look risky. Orton has come up with the key plays the Bears need, while minimizing turnovers.

And yes, for a quarterback like Orton, 12 interceptions could be considered minimizing.

In comparison to the 2000 Ravens, the Bears have the edge, giving up four less yards per game.

Do I think the Bears defense is really better than the ’00 Ravens or ’85 Bears?

No, but the parody in the NFC lends itself to a Bears Bowl. Not a single team stands out like the Eagles did last season, and playing in the awful NFC North could propel the Bears to a first-round bye and home field advantage.

So bring on Atlanta, bring on Dallas.

This is for Mike and Papa Bear Halas.

While the playoff picture is still foggy, they will likely face the Cowboys, Seahawks, Giants, Bucs, Panthers, Falcons or even the surging Vikings.

After creaming Carolina, there isn’t a single team in that group that should scare the Bears. Each of them have holes and are beatable if the monstrous Bears defense holds through January.

It all hinges on the Bears’ ability to lock up home-field advantage. The Bears’ last five games include Atlanta and Detroit at home and trips to Pittsburgh, Minnesota and Green Bay. Four of the Bears’ last five games are winnable, and if the Eagles can beat Seattle tonight, the Bears can even get the top seed.

Home field is crucial for a Bears Bowl-run. Remember the Fog Bowl in 1988 against the Philadelphia Eagles?

If you didn’t see it, don’t worry. The fans at Soldier Field didn’t see it either.

With the Bears up 17-6 midway through the second quarter, a thick, gray fog rolled into Soldier Field and made it impossible to even complete anything, which allowed the Bears to practically sit on it the rest of the game.

Head coach Lovie Smith has already used his 10-gallon bottle of Windex to wipe away most of the fingerprints left behind by the Dick Jauron era. Now he’s taking aim at 20 years of misery.

We’re not here to start no trouble.

We’re just here to do the Super Bowl Shuffle.

Dan Berrigan is a senior in engineering. He can be reached at [email protected].