SAN DIEGO – Leave it to the San Diego Chargers to stretch the limits of incredulity again.

This time the firing of coach Marty Schottenheimer after an NFL-best 14-2 season is so mind-boggling that the team president himself called the relationship between Schottenheimer and general manager A.J. Smith a “dysfunctional situation.”

That’s a good one, Dean Spanos. Much more colorful than “team turmoil.”

This time of year, even hardheaded football men are looking for Valentines.

Team Dysfunction, meanwhile, is looking for a new head coach to take over an extremely talented squad that tripped and fell on its facemask well short of the Super Bowl. So much for having that parade route all mapped out.

It’s a plum job, for sure. The new guy might even want to buy Schottenheimer’s house in tony La Jolla. Unless, of course, he gets low-balled by the Spanos family and has to live inland.

Regardless, whoever inherits Marty’s whistle better not want too much control.

Team D., whose star is the MVP, L.T., moves on without having fully explained why Schottenheimer was blown out a month after Spanos said the coach would be back next season to finish out his contract.

It was well-known that Schottenheimer, the winningest coach never to reach a Super Bowl, and Smith, a fantastic talent evaluator, had a relationship that on its best day was frigid.

Or as the coach put it after his dismissal Monday night: “There is and has been no relationship.”

Schottenheimer and Smith have tremendous egos. Eventually, something had to snap.

What triggered this nasty breakup was an exodus from Schottenheimer’s staff. Both coordinators were hired as NFL head coaches, and two assistants get coordinator jobs.

Schottenheimer, 63, probably should have gotten a pat on the back for putting together such a remarkable staff, then a suggestion to try to do it again. Even if just for one season.

But that was the problem.

If the Chargers were an undisciplined mess in a shocking 24-21 loss to New England on Jan. 14, then the front office added to the meltdown by letting Schottenheimer become a lame duck.

The Chargers need a head coach and a defensive coordinator. Clarence Shelmon, recently promoted to offensive coordinator, has got to be wondering if he’s going to have a job when the new boss takes the helm of the Good Ship Dysfunction.

The list of possible candidates starts with Pete Carroll and runs all the way through Steve Mariucci, Norv Turner, Ted Cottrell, Ron Rivera, Jim Caldwell, Mike Singletary and Dennis Green. Any retreads and anybody who interviewed for a head coaching job in the last few years and didn’t get it could be on Smith’s list. Compliance with the GM will be a must.