I was probably in the womb when I first discovered ways to kill time without actually accomplishing anything.

I envision myself curled up in the fetal position – of course, I would have still been a fetus – thinking about which of the many types of “Law and Order” I would watch, or which YouTube video I could best entertain myself with. That’s right, we had “Law and Order” in my womb. The rest of you guys were way behind.

Now, in the spirit of, well, ways to kill time – after all, ’tis the season – I present to you 10 different ways I have squandered away some of those precious moments of my life.

10. Have a Google-off with a roommate. In this contest, you will need a judge (preferably unbiased) to pick a question that has a definite answer. Say, the first leader of the Al-Saud dynasty in Saudi Arabia or maybe even the date Animaniancs first debuted. Then, with fingers hovering in the proper, upright position above spacebars, begin the tournament – I like a good old-fashioned two-out-of-three, but maybe you’re the three-out-of-five-type – to see who can find the answer to the question first.

9. Watch extremely rare and impossible-to-find footage of a guy stubbing his toe on a door, or a gummy bear exploding on YouTube. You won’t be disappointed.

8. Make yourself a banana split. Really, any ice cream will do, but I prefer this one because I think it usually looks funnier. Lather with caramel, rinse with sprinkles and repeat.

7. Consider buying something really cool on eBay like a shark tooth or an old typewriter. Then back out because you find the “Buy it Now” price a little steep. Seriously, who bids on stuff anymore? That is so passé.

6. Read some of those magazines you keep getting in the mail but instead stack in a drawer because you don’t have time.

Be it The New Yorker, Good Housekeeping or Mad, everyone loves reading glossy pages and looking at upscale advertisements for stuff you’ll never be able to afford with that Liberal Arts degree.

5. Take up a musical instrument. I suggest tuba, though there may be some portability issues.

4. Organize your closet, from the worst T-shirt you own to those kickin’ sand-blasted jeans your aunt got you. Then clean up your room. Maybe wash your disgusting sheets with the questionable stains. You will never see my domicile as ordered as when I have a test the next morning. I will never understand this.

3. Read a short story. It kills the time, and may perhaps give you a new perspective. Your old one is probably starting to get a little blurred anyway. I suggest one of the following, only for my personal list-within-a-list meta-fun.

A) “A Very Short Story,” by Ernest Hemingway.

B) “The Idea,” by Raymond Carver.

C) “How to Write a Pretty Sweet List,” by Jonathan Jacobson.

All fine, appropriate reading for folks of all ages, available in your nearest bookstore.

2. Listen to “Welcome to the Jungle,” by Guns ‘n’ Roses as loud as you can. This usually calms me down. I don’t really have much of an Appetite for Destruction, anyway.

1. Find the nearest balcony and stand on it by yourself, watching your hot breath come like a cloud into the cool, windless air. Then scream the loudest expletive you can and get back to studying. Seriously, you’ve got work to do.