buzz‘s Matt Carey chronicles the history of Batman movies.

Batman

To a lot of people, this movie hasn’t aged well. This is understandable, as there are large sections of cheese and Tim Burton seems far more interested in The Joker than he does in Batman. Regardless, the movie is a good action flick and features some sweet Prince music. Of course, the fanboy part of me wants to pick apart all the aspects of the movie that don’t follow Batman canon, such as The Caped Crusader showing no remorse at murdering people. Also, when compared to Heath Ledger’s haunting portrayal, Jack Nicholson playing Jack Nicholson in clown makeup is slightly disappointing.

Batman Returns

Because of the outrageous success of the ‘89 Batman and Edward Scissorhands, Tim Burton was given carte blanche to do whatever the hell he wanted. Thus, he turned the Batman universe into an ungodly freak show. I mean, Michelle Pfeiffer in leather was pretty awesome, but then most of her scenes were with a freaky looking Danny Devito. In this installment, Batman must face off against Catwoman and The Penguin, who was radically changed from his comic book version.

And The Penguin’s scheme at the end makes absolutely no sense. Kidnap all of the firstborns in Gotham? How can you possibly get away with that? By having your army of penguins defend you? If anyone was wondering, this was the exact point when Tim Burton decided that he wanted all of his movies to be weird for weird’s sake.

Batman Forever

After a bunch of parents had a tizzy over the dark subject matter in Batman Returns, Warner Bros. ensured they wouldn’t have any more controversy by turning Gotham City into a neon spectacle with a bunch of manly Greek statues. This time around, Batman was played by Val Kilmer, who did a pretty decent job of staying serious amidst all the whackiness around him. Financially, it made sense to cast Jim Carrey as The Riddler since he was a big star at the time, but he’s also the polar opposite of menacing. Add in Robin, a character that any Batman fan worth his or her salt hates because Batman is supposed to be a sad, vengeful loner, and this movie is a mess. I’ve heard some people say they like it, and after re-watching it, that makes no sense to me. There really isn’t much of a tonal difference between Batman Forever and the 1997 abomination.

Batman & Robin

Oh, God. You know how at any age under 10 you don’t really critique movies, but instead think all of them are good? Even 8-year-old me thought this movie sucked. From the Mr. Freeze one liners to the monologues that repeatedly explain the villains’ nefarious plan, this is Batman at his worst. George Clooney mugging for the camera and spouting out such gems as, “This is why Superman works alone,” certainly didn’t help matters. To me, this movie isn’t even so bad it’s good; it just sucks.

Batman Begins

At the time, I had no idea who Christopher Nolan was. But in my acne filled, teen angst head I decided that anyone would make a better Batman movie than Batman & Robin. Needless to say, I love this movie. Batman is one of the few comic book characters that you can put in a realistic universe, and it makes the stakes in the movie that much higher. Plus, Batman’s origin story is pretty damn cool, and the majority of people had never seen it before. Sure, the action is spotty because of all the shaky cam and quick cuts, but the action isn’t important when the story is so interesting. How many comic book movies can you say that about?

The Dark Knight

This is it. The pinnacle of Batman movies. Taking a character that was at one point played by Adam West and making a dense, ambitious, 150 minute movie with a decidedly dark core. “Unbelievably awesome” is the only phrase I can use to describe it. I read that Christopher Nolan was inspired by Michael Mann’s Heat with this movie, and it shows. Both movies have numerous subplots that come together beautifully. You could make the case that Two-Face got the short end of the stick, but I’m just happy someone not named Tommy Lee Jones took on the role of Harvey Dent.