College requires a huge commitment. I’m not talking about academically or whatever. Probably for the first time in your life, you’re living with someone outside of your family. Everyone has heard those horror stories about roommates: the roommate who steals your stuff, the roommate who comes home drunk only to pee all over your bed, the roommate who steals your identity and tries to kill everyone you know … OK, the last example I stole from a movie.

But, regardless, it’s scary, and you want to make sure that the awesome time you’re having in college isn’t eclipsed by roommate issues.

*Your roommate’s significant other is one key and a bed short of being your third roommate.*

It’s terrible, of course, because you want to talk about this as tactfully as possible, but this is a problem that can easily perceived as a personal attack. Make no mistake, though. If this is bothering you, you have to speak up. There is nothing worse than letting the resentment build up and clouding your relationship with both of these people who, regardless of how often they spend in your room, are going to be a part of your life. The thing to remember when you sit your roommate down (preferably without the offending the significant other) is not to approach it as an attack on the SO in question. Emphasize that you don’t have a personal problem, you have a problem with your personal space being breached. If this is going well, you can even suggest hours where it is appropriate for both of them to be in your dorm/apartment and when they need to leave.

* You’re a night owl, and your roommate is an early-bird-gets-the-worm kind of person. *

Or vice versa. Honestly, this applies to all living differences. Maybe your roommate likes to party, and you are more of a quiet type. Or you’re going to sleep because you have lab in the morning, and your roommate waits until 2 a.m. to kick homework-mode into gear. In a dorm room, it’s hard to reconcile living differences, but being considerate goes of each other a long way. Do not try to change each other’s life styles. The key is to work around each other. If your roommate insists on coming home super smashed whenever you have a test, then at least establish that they cannot bring people back with them. If your roommate sleeps in, maybe you should not set your alarm clock to an earsplitting shriek in the morning. Or at least don’t push the snooze button 10 times. Man up, buttercup. It’s time to wake up after the first ring.

* Your roommate is a leave-out-moldy-food, knee-deep-in-dirty-clothes slob. *

If this doesn’t bother you, great! But if one of you is a neat freak and the other one has loose definitions of the word “hygienic,” then here is where life philosophies clash. This is one of those situations where you pretty much have to compromise on some level. Either you guys have to find a bottom line of acceptable cleanliness or you make a deal (easier in an apartment) where you relegate your preferences to certain areas. For instance, maybe the living room stays clean, but your individual bedrooms can be as dirty as dirty can be.

Whether you’re living with a friend or you’re going random, it’s not easy living with someone who’s not your parent. For one, your parents are obligated to love you no matter how terrible of a living companion you are. Your roommate is not obligated to forgive you for being terrible, so even as you fret about your companion, remember that being polite is a given. Just because someone is living with you doesn’t mean you should act as if all of your habits are acceptable. Don’t allow yourself to be the one who everyone else is complaining about. In the end, remember that just because there are those warm, fuzzy stories about roommates being best friends forever, you are not required to be friends with your roommate in order to have a functional relationship. Friendship cannot be forced. If the best you can do is be civil to one another, it can work just as well.

_XiXi is a senior in LAS._