You’re not sure what to say as you look down at that strange-colored scarf or those awkwardly shaped earrings (your ears aren’t even pierced). You settle for a sympathetic smile, look up, and say optimistically, “Well I certainly don’t already have something like this.”

It’s happened to everyone. You receive a bad gift from a well-meaning person you care about. There’s not much you can do other than keep it in storage and forget about it, leaving it in the depths of an attic or basement. If you are truly committed to making the gift-giver happy, you can unearth the infamous thing and display it only during their visit.

They may say something along the lines of, “Oh, I remember when I gave you that,” or “Wow, you still have that thing! I knew you’d like it.” In which case, you’d be forced to repeat the uncomfortable smile-and-ambiguous-agreement system from before.

So you’re stuck with a bad gift. What now? First, whatever you do, do not automatically judge the gift-giver based solely on their gift-giving skills (or, in this case, lack thereof). This is an important step. Recognize that there are plenty of nice, well-intentioned people who simply are not blessed with the inherent ability to give the perfect present. Resist the urge to think any less of the person, even though you now own season two of “Grey’s Anatomy” despite your hatred for Patrick Dempsey.

The second step is realization. If someone gave you a gift that you reacted positively to (although you hated it), then how many times has the situation been reversed? For all you know, you could be a chronic bad gift-giver. Perhaps you end up giving someone a gift that is just as off-key as that tragically ugly stuffed panda you got a few years ago. Think long and hard about what you end up choosing.

If you’d like to take the safe route, you could always just ask the person what they want. While this is certainly acceptable, it eliminates the element of surprise that could add to the festive experience. If you know that this person is especially fond of surprises, you may want to try another method.

A secondary source may be your best bet. If you have something in mind that you’re unsure they would like, you could always talk to a friend of theirs. Of course, there is always potential for miscommunication — maybe the person you ask is also unaware of the subject’s aversion to Patrick Dempsey, in which case, you’re on your own, pal. At least you tried.

Finally, step three lasts the longest, but it could be the most important step: experimentation. If you’ve known this person for an extended period of time, you may grow to recognize his or her likes and dislikes, understanding lifestyle choices and daily routines.

If the person is nice enough, he or she may tell you politely that no, they simply can’t accept this pet chinchilla because they are deathly allergic to furry creatures. (Side note: I can’t think of many people who would readily give a chinchilla, but I’m simply offering up an extreme example. And, for the record, if someone gave me a chinchilla, I would be overjoyed.)

Although there are several precautions that one can take to prevent the giving of an unappreciated gift, it is often left up in the air. It’s difficult to know what someone would like, and it’s rarely easy to pinpoint their personality with a physical object. To all you bad gift-givers out there, you’ve got to hang in there. If the person truly cares about you, they will still value the effort you put into their unfortunately off-base present.

Still, if you’re unsure they’ll like that giant cardboard cutout of Heath Ledger as the Joker, think about your decision a bit more. It may be destined for a dusty attic if you don’t plan carefully enough.

Reema can be reached [email protected].