There is no doubt that the Super Bowl is a huge deal for football-loving Americans. From elaborate parties to the outrageous betting that takes place on game day, participating in Super Bowl celebrations is common practice for many. But for those who don’t know the difference between a tight end and a fumble, here’s some advice on how to survive Super Bowl XLVII without looking like a complete fool when it comes to football.

Let’s start with the most basic information. This year’s game will take place in New Orleans, and the two teams playing — which I sadly had to look up myself — are the Baltimore Ravens and the San Francisco 49ers. To make it easier, the Ravens’ team colors are purple, black, metallic gold and white, and the 49ers’ colors are red and gold. Thankfully, this contrast in colors will make it a lot easier to tell which team is which when you’re vision gets a little blurred after a few drinks. 

Now that we’ve got the teams figured out, it’s time to decide who we’re going to root for (aka pretend to care about) and think of a reason behind our choice. If I had my way, I’d tell people I’m rooting for the Ravens simply because purple is my favorite color. Unfortunately, there’s no way I could actually give this reason because I would look extremely girly and possibly irritate any serious football fans around me.

Instead, it’s better to say that you’re rooting for Baltimore because they’re the underdog or that you’re pulling for San Francisco because you’re a big fan of Michael Crabtree, their wide receiver. As long as the reason sounds somewhat legitimate, you will come off as at least a little bit intelligent about one of the most anticipated sporting events in the United States.

It’s also important to not become too invested in the game if you truly don’t know much about what’s going on. 

After years of cheerleading at football games and still not understanding what’s going on, I’ve learned the best way to get through it without embarrassment is to not make comments about the game. By doing so, there’s no chance that you’ll say something that makes zero sense.

Instead, it’s better to pay attention to what everyone else watching the game is doing — when they start to cheer, you start to cheer; when they seemed angry about a play gone wrong, you should do the same, etcetera. It’s almost like playing Simon Says with your friends, but you’re the only one who knows it’s happening.

If all else fails, make sure you’re not that girl or guy who’s complaining about watching football the entire time. There is nothing worse than someone who’s hating on football when the entire day revolves around the sport.

It may sound harsh, but if you’re not going to at least pretend to enjoy watching the game, like I’ll be doing Sunday evening, then there isn’t really a point of getting together with people to watch. If you really can’t handle watching the game, just try your best to grin and bear it — there’s always new commercials, snacks and possibly a scandal during the halftime performance to look forward to.

Taylor is a junior in Media and can be reached at [email protected].