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arly on in my sports-movie-watching experience, I had a #baycifail by accidently renting “Rocky Balboa” — the final movie of the series — before watching the first one. So here I was, watching Rocky argue with his son and pine over dead Adrian being completely and utterly confused. The only aspect of the movie that made any sense was how awesome it was that they computer stimulated a fight between a young Rocky and current champion Mason Dixon. It immediately sparked the idea of how Illini athletes of different generations would fare against each other in their primes.

So, here goes.

Men’s basketball: Nick Anderson (1988-89) vs. Deron Williams (2002-05)

Anderson was one of the ringleaders of the famous 1988-89 Flyin’ Illini squad, which was the first Illinois team to make the Final Four in the modern NCAA tournament. Williams was a starter and the force behind the Illini’s 2005 National Championship run.

Winner: Deron Williams. He made it further and for that, he’s better.

Football: Harold “Red “Grange (1923-25) vs. Rashard Mendenhall (2005-07)

If you don’t know Red Grange, the “Galloping Ghost,” then go figure it out. He defined football at Illinois and carried the Illini in a majority of their games. Mendenhall is one of the last stars Illinois football fans can remember getting genuinely excited about.

Winner: Red Grange. He has a statue in front of Memorial Stadium. He has poetry written about him. You can’t mess with Red, yo.

Volleyball: Mary Eggers (1985-88) vs. Laura DeBruler (2007-10)

They are arguably the two best outside hitters in Illinois history. Eggers was known as one of the deadliest and toughest players of all time, while DeBruler’s quiet personality balanced out her killer spike. I just wish they could be a tag team because that would have been the first Illinois volleyball national championship.

Winner: Laura DeBruler. She tops the record books despite ending her career early because of injury. And it’s the quiet ones that always come out on top, right?

Men’s gymnastics: David Zeddies (1986-89) vs. Justin Spring (2004-06) vs. Paul Ruggeri (2008-12)

All three won Nissen-Emery awards, the Heisman Trophy of men’s gymnastics. All three were the stars during their respective Illini careers. Zeddies and Ruggeri led Illinois to national titles, but Spring won an Olympic bronze medal for Team USA.

Winner: Justin Spring. He has a bronze medal, yo. And he’s redefining gymnastics as everybody knows it. Though watch out for sophomore C.J. Maestas; he’s going to give Spring a run for his money.

Men’s golf: Steve Stricker (1986-90) vs. Luke Guthrie (2008-12)

The two probably have teed off together, considering they’re both still going strong. Stricker was so good at Illinois he has a tournament named after him. Guthrie was the first golfer to rival his success.

Winner: Stricker. Sorry, Luke. As much as I wanted to say Stricker struck out, you’re just not good enough.

Women’s track and field: Tonja Buford-Bailey (1990-93)  vs. Perdita Felicien (2000-03) vs. Ashley Spencer (2012- )

A hurdle race between this trio would probably end up with the starter getting trampled and nobody being able to see who won because it was just a flurry of activity. Translation: It would be a triple-triple threat of aggression, height and speed. Buford-Bailey and Felicien dominated their time at Illinois and Spencer is so far so good.

Winner: Ashley Spencer. In this case, newer is better and Spencer has the guidance of Buford-Bailey as her head coach. Together, they’ll be able to get over any hurdles Buford-Bailey had. See what I did there?

Basketball coaches: Lou Henson vs. Bruce Weber

They’re the two Illini coaches that reached the Final Four. They’re two of the most memorable and loudest leaders of Illini basketball. Their fans will forever worship them and their athletes respect them.

Winner: Henson. Bruce got fired and Lou will forever be known as a legend. In the words of “Sandlot,” “Heroes get remembered but legends never die.”

Mascots: Chief Illiniwek (1926-07) vs. Illinois’ current mascot. Wait…

There’s Chief Illiniwek, the official symbol and mascot of Illinois from 1926-2007, who was retired because of the controversy surrounding the image as a hostile and abusive mascot. The outcries of dismay haven’t settled down much the past six years, and there’s yet to be a replacement but instead continual protests for its reinstatement. And Illinois remains the school without a mascot.

Winner: The Chief. I mean, if it couldn’t beat a ghost of nothing then we’d have bigger problems on our hands.

Basketball Facilities: Assembly Hall vs. Huff Hall

Assembly Hall just celebrated its 50th anniversary. It’s now the home of the men’s and women’s basketball and the Orange Krush cheering section. But from 1925-63, basketball games were played in Huff Hall, named after long-time Illini athletic director George Huff.

Winner: Huff Hall. For no other reason than the fact that Assembly Hall looks like a space ship.

Daily Illini Sports Editors: Cody Westerlund (2008-10) vs. Jeff Kirshman (2009-13)

It’s a tale of two individuals who never dreamed of being sports editors. In a true “Karate Kid” fashion, master trains the student and student takes over. Cody led the Illini of the Decade campaign, while Jeff successfully turned the entire Greek student body against him, while still being awesome.

Winner: Kirshman. He has a fro and everybody loves the one everybody hates. 

Writers Note: If any of the above mentioned athletes would be interested in a duel, I personally have no objections and think it could be a great charity event for the University. Because, of course, my opinion matters.

Emily is a graduate student. You can reach her at [email protected]. Follow her on Twitter @emilybayci. But she gave up Twitter for Lent, so email her.