I’ve known Sam Cushing since we were in middle school. He is hilarious and unbelievably attractive — I think he’s appeared on the University of Illinois Secret Admirer Facebook page upwards of six times thus far.

Here at the University, Sam is a sophomore in Business. He works tirelessly to further his education and experience as much as possible; he even serves on the Illini Media Board. We have a class together this year, and on Tuesday, we got to talking about marriage equality. Sam is gay, and I wondered how he felt about the looming Supreme Court decision.

“I’m not even sure what I think about it anymore,” I said sheepishly.

The truth is, I’ve felt absolutely bombarded by the issue lately. From the red-and-pink equal signs that flooded social media to the countless news articles, the push for marriage equality seems to be at an all-time high.

In this country, the once-unchanging definition of marriage has become a moving target. It is a process that has been underway for years — our nation’s divorce rates illustrate the slow, steady destruction of the sanctity of marriage.

For Sam, the debate is more than just a debate. It is a possible future, a life he might someday lead. It is a deeply personal concept.

“I’d definitely like to settle down, get married and have kids someday,” Sam said. “And I want my kids to have every single right that my next-door neighbor’s kids have.”

If the Supreme Court votes in favor of marriage equality, then Sam’s dreams could very well come true.

But there is one overwhelmingly large group that opposes the idea. According to a recent Pew Research poll, 44 percent of Americans oppose same-sex marriage and many of the dissenters are of various Christian denominations.

I’m a Christian, and so is Sam. We grew up attending the same church, and now as college sophomores, we are both believers.

“Jesus took the societal outcasts under his wing, like the man with leprosy and the prostitutes. With that in mind, it’s funny how people don’t see homosexuals as a group of outcasts, too,” Sam said. “As Jesus-followers, we should be embracing those outcasts. But sometimes, we do the exact opposite.”

And there — right there — is the most important tenet of Christianity: love.

Jesus calls us to love. Love our Savior, love our neighbors, and love our friends — no matter who they love. OK, I can do that. But does this also mean Christians should promote same-sex marriage?

And to go even further, does loving another person mean accepting his or her actions, too? Where is the line, the balance? Is it possible to love a gay friend without agreeing with his or her lifestyle?

To be perfectly honest: I’m not sure.

When I hesitantly told Sam about my confliction, his response calmed me down.

“I kid you not, Mel, I am not offended in the least.” he said. “As a gay person, it’s far more important for me to hear that you accept me and understand my views than it is to hear that you approve of gay marriage specifically.”

I don’t know enough to take a grand stand against marriage equality, nor do I know enough to support it. My understanding of the world comes from a Christian perspective — a perspective that seeps into all of my decisions and thoughts. Biblically, marriage is a holy covenant between one man and one woman. My beliefs point me away from same-sex marriage.

But that doesn’t mean those beliefs point me away from anyone who is gay.

I am open, and I am listening. And I firmly believe that the ability to love others — those like us, and those unlike us — is even bigger than the very argument itself.

Melanie is a sophomore in Media. She can be reached at [email protected]. Follow her on Twitter @mellystone.