As I sauntered down a long, busy Parisian street, an excited and entranced 17-year-old me greeted passersby with a warm smile and a “bonjour,” in my evident American accent. In return, I received quick glances from natives with stone faces that uttered nothing in return. Not one person responded with even a look or a grin. I had definitely showered that day, and I don’t think there was food stuck in my teeth so I ruled out odor or lack of appeal as the issue.

When I returned to our little apartment later that day, I picked up a traveler’s book about Paris and noticed a key message in the section on etiquette. The passage indicated that politeness between strangers is essential but should not be mistaken for friendliness.

While being friendly and being polite are seemingly similar, the key difference between the two is that politeness entails civility and appropriateness while friendliness demonstrates more sociability and warmness.

After skimming the chapter of the traveler’s book, I spent the rest of my trip following the supposed rule of being polite but not necessarily friendly. I minded my own business and showed respect, but as a result I had no amiable interactions with people — and where’s the fun in that? Naturally, I concluded that friendliness ought to be world-renowned and not so much a cultural thing.

Being kindhearted and open is imperative in even the smallest of interactions. I think people often underestimate the power of a smile or any other simple sign of acknowledgment. To merely be present, obedient and courteous just doesn’t cut it in my book.

It’s those lighthearted, quirky encounters that can ultimately make your day.

For instance, a recent trip to a public restroom sink forced me to cross paths with another woman. She looked over at my Salt-N-Pepa cutoff T-shirt and gave me a quick smirk as she threw me a compliment over my outfit choice. Pleasantly surprised, I responded with thanks and we spent a good minute or two chatting as we each ran our hands through the automatic sinks.

Assuming she wasn’t pulling a Regina George on me — the classic, “Oh my God, I love your skirt! Where did you get it?” And then in the event of my departure, “That is the ugliest f-ing skirt I’ve ever seen,” — I venture to say that our mini bathroom chat made my day a little bit better than if it didn’t happen at all.

Had she simply been polite and not friendly, our encounter would have consisted of us silently washing our hands next to each other while trying desperately to avoid awkward eye contact in the mirror in front of us.

There is something to be said about those people who go out of their way to turn an everyday, mundane interaction into something pleasant. Nothing speaks clearer to this than the encounters we have daily. Think about the person who serves your grande café mocha latte Frappuccino cappuccino macchiato (or whatever), the person who bags your groceries, or even the person who swipes your i-card at the ARC or dining hall. We have quick, routinized contact with all of these different people every day and often think nothing of it.

However, on those occasions when that person who hands you your coffee over the counter takes that extra second to smile and tell you to enjoy your day, you probably walk out the door with a better outlook on your morning than had they not done so.

Those simple encounters are something you don’t get from just being polite. Politeness is the bare minimum of what is necessary to maintain in public. There is no gold star given out for simply doing what should ultimately be expected like minding your own space, maintaining good manners and acting appropriate in given situations.

It’s going that extra mile and being outgoing and approachable that makes all the difference. It’s amazing how you can meet people at random moments and talk for five minutes and feel like in that five minutes you were old friends. And while you part ways, move forward and other interactions take place, that five-minute best friend holds a tiny spot in your memory of that day.

I find it borderline ridiculous that friendliness is often something cultural and not particularly common everywhere. Being kind and acknowledging someone’s presence is something that makes anyone feel good. While other countries and regions obviously have their own set of norms and guidelines about etiquette, it doesn’t change the fact that a smile is universal.

Nicki is a junior in Media. She can be reached at [email protected].