Returning after a long day of classes should be something to look forward to. Your home, after all, should be a place to de-stress. Add difficult roommates to the equation, and your home away from home can quickly become anything but peaceful. Speaking from experience, there are some important factors to keep in mind when you have roommates. From the wild and crazy roommate who wants to party 24/7 to the homebodies, penny pinchers and everything in between, read on for the do’s and don’ts of living with roommates.

Come in with a realistic mindset

The first thing to remember when picking roommates is to have a realistic mindset. No roommate situation is going to be perfect, and every shared living space is bound to have conflicts. Having unrealistic expectations of a problem-free roommate utopia will only make the situation worse when problems do come up and ultimately lead to a disappointing year. Instead of envisioning your apartment life as a singsong, happy-go-lucky experience, brace yourself for the emotional roller coaster that is college.

Communicate openly

Maintaining open and honest communication with a roommate is essential, both when looking for an apartment and when living together. And even though we are all guilty of it, good communication does not involve leaving passive-aggressive Post-it Notes lying around the apartment. Instead, try to remain calm, and approach your roommate in a considerate manner. By taking time out of your busy schedule to sit down and talk, your roomie should understand the importance of settling the conflict in a mature way.

Friends vs. roommates

Keep in mind that friends and roommates are not always synonymous terms. The qualities you may seek out in a friend are not always the same for those whom you choose to live with. For example, you may enjoy a wild night out with friends on the weekends but would prefer a more calm and relaxed environment at home during the week. If your roommate is one who enjoys hosting parties and after-party parties midweek, you could be in for several sleepless nights. Or, conversely, having a lights-out-by-10 p.m. type of roommate may end up cramping your style when it comes to your social life.

Habits and routines

Another common roomie mistake is to assume your roommate understands how and why you like things to be done a certain way. Not everyone has the same background or upbringing. While some students grew up having a maid around the house, others were expected to do a set of chores each day. Your roommate may have grown up in a different culture than yours, complete with varying living practices and priorities. This is why maintaining open communication is vital. Explain why certain ways of living are important to you, and request that there be a mutual respect established for one another’s preferences.

And, when all of my advice has gone out the window, and you absolutely cannot wait to move out and never speak to your roommate again, it’s important to remember what college is all about. It’s an extremely special experience that you have chosen to share with this person. Why not make living together fun? After all, you only have four years to live crazily, pull all-nighters studying, party hard, make mistakes and grow both personally and professionally. Try your best to not let your at-home frustrations hinder your college years. Instead, make an effort to smile and laugh it off because your college years are numbered and your roommates are only temporary.

Anna is a junior in Media. She can be reached at [email protected].