The gender binary that modern society has come to know and accept has forced us into believing that there are only two sets of distinct traits that each sex must portray.

Because of this, many young boys are indoctrinated with the idea that if you want to “be a man,” masculinity is the only route. This is a harmful and a poisonous way of thinking because it forces a sort of cognitive dissonance in which males are expected to act in a certain manner that their thoughts may not agree with.

This past Wednesday, I attended a lecture sponsored by the Office of Inclusion and Intercultural Relations, which featured filmmaker Byron Hurt.

Mr. Hurt is an advocate and activist in a broad spectrum of issues regarding gender equality and focused his lecture on healthy masculinity as well as the challenges of constructing a nurturing and compassionate manhood. The experience left me thinking about what it means to be a good man and my thought process went as such:

First, it’s important to briefly put masculinity into a modern day context. We live in a predominantly patriarchal society where males are the primary authoritative figure in all, if not most, aspects of life.

In the political and business realm, 84 percent of the members in the 112th Congress were men, while 95.8 percent of current U.S. Fortune 500 CEOs are also men.

In the home, it is often believed that men are the heads of the household. They are the breadwinners of the family and often hold authority over the women and children.

But the idea of feminism has brought about the idea that women should be treated equally. There is no question that the feminist movement has forced us to challenge our societal belief in patriarchy, but the main reason there has been so much backlash is because it threatens male dominance.

From a young age, boys learn from a wide array of male figures, from friends, family, movie stars, about the characteristics that comprise masculinity: strength, power and dominance. Many young boys are also told that to be a man you can’t cry, you can’t act feminine, you must be competitive, you must be the best and, most importantly, you must have girlfriends.

If you fail to exemplify any of these characteristics mentioned above, you may be called a girl, gay, weak, a wuss, feminine, a fag, a sissy, a baby or all of the above.

If you are considered any of these derogatory terms, you’re not a man. All of these terms are purposely used to demasculinize or strip someone of the masculinity they have been taught to strive for since they were little.

Even more, these terms bring about harsh implications because they lead to the assumption that being a woman or member of the LGBT community is problematic — your social identity exemplifies traits that hinder dominance and success.

This poses a major problem because demasculinizing someone by calling them gay or a woman implies that there is something wrong with being gay or a woman.

It makes women and members of the LGBT community inferior to men while, in fact, both should be considered completely equal. And by making someone inferior, it creates moral superiority. It brings people to believe that oppression is OK and acceptable.

At the end of this thought process, I reflected upon the characteristics society has formed of what it means to be a man, and it brought me to the conclusion that there is no such thing. There are traits and characteristics of masculinity that are certainly desirable — being mentally and physically strong, ambitious and many more.

But traits that are desirable can be applied to every person regardless of sex, gender identity and sexual orientation.

Young boys shouldn’t be forced into believing that they need to fulfill any sort of gender roles. While growing up, my parents nurtured me with love and affection. While my father influenced me by example, I never felt pressured to conform to the masculinity I earlier described.

I was taught that it’s OK to be sensitive, but that you also need to be tough. While it’s important to step up and take charge, it’s equally as important to step back and let others provide their input.

It’s this kind of thinking that allows people to fulfill their potential.

I believe that the sooner society accepts that the gender binary is limiting humankind’s possibilities, the sooner we can liberate it by enforcing the idea that it is impossible to define great men and women. But we can define great people.

Matt is a sophomore in LAS. He can be reached at [email protected]. Follow him on Twitter @MatthewPasquini.