Eliot is a senior in Media. He can be reached at [email protected]. Follow him on Twitter @EliotTweet.
This is part two of a two-part NBA season preview. For part one, examining each NBA team’s offseason and prospects for the upcoming year, click here.
It’s absurd to really rank 100 players. Like, really rank them. I mean, you figure players are better than other players. But to actually say objectively that James Harden is better than Dwight Howard is insane. It’s apples and oranges. Apples are shooting guards, oranges are centers. (Bananas are power forwards, watermelons are shooting guards and grapes are point guards. Whoever wants to help me write a kids show about a fruit basketball team, hit me up.)
So of course these rankings are subjective. These aren’t sabremetrics. I don’t even have NBA League Pass. But I’m reasonably sure if you think Chris Paul is a better player than Derrick Rose, you’re a doofus. And I know the difference between Nikola Pekovic and Nikola Vucevic, and which one I’d rather have on my team.
I determined these rankings not on the basis of who would win 1-on-1, or who’s most valuable to their team. The determining scenario in these is if you had a 5-on-5 contest in which anybody was eligible to play, who would dominate that game?
The top spot obviously belongs to LeBron James, and if LeBron sits, Kevin Durant becomes the alpha dog player. If Kevin Durant sits, Tony Parker asserts himself. And so on. These aren’t meant to be definitive. If anything they’re meant to be disagreed with. But I stand by them, firmly.
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100 Javale McGee Denver Nuggets C
What am I gonna do, not include Javale McGee in this list?
99 Tyreke Evans New Orleans Pelicans SF
The former Rookie of the Year has a lot to prove and the means to do it.
98 Jason Terry Brooklyn Nets PG
Confidence counts for a lot on this list, and the Jet’s still got it.
97 Andrei Kirilenko Brooklyn Nets SF
Once a budding star, Kirilenko is a fitting backup for the star-studded Nets.
96 Nicolas Batum Portland Trailblazers SF
Batum is a poor man’s Luol Deng. He needs to get better for Portland to make the playoffs.
95 Kemba Walker Charlotte Bobcats PG
“Who knows if he’s actually good” is how I feel about most of the Bobcats’ best players.
94 Andrea Bargnani New York Knicks PF
Make or break year for the former first overall pick.
93 Bradley Beal Washington Wizards SG
A whole year with John Wall could move Beal up this list.
92 Eric Bledsoe Phoenix Suns PG
Most over-analyzed mediocre player in the NBA. Good luck in Phoenix, kid.
91 Victor Oladipo Orlando Magic PG
I think it’s really dumb for him to play point guard, but he’s still a talent.
90 Arron Afflalo Orlando Magic SG
The sole reason for Oladipo’s stunted development, right here.
89 Jarrett Jack Cleveland Cavaliers PG
Jack has made the climb from mediocre youngin to reliable professional.
88 Evan Turner Philadelphia 76ers SG
His skill set is still diverse and desirable. And he still can’t make it work.
87 Tony Allen Memphis Grizzlies SG
This is about as high as just-defense can take you.
86 Mario Chalmers Miami Heat PG
It’s tough to tell how viable a starting point guard Chalmers is in Miami. It’s hard to judge the brightness of a lightbulb when you’re standing on the sun.
85 O.J. Mayo Milwaukee Bucks SG
Mayo, the last Jabari Parker-type high school prospect, fits into Milwaukee’s quiet basketball scene.
84 Nikola Pekovic Minnesota Timberwolves C
Pek could be a great center. Big year for him forthcoming.
83 Andrew Bogut Golden State Warriors C
The words “when he’s healthy” haunt Andrew Bogut’s dreams.
82 Omer Asik Houston Rockets C
Trade him. Period.
81 Kyle Lowry Toronto Raptors PG
A good scorer that’s hard to win with; would be a world-class backup.
80 Chandler Parsons Houston Rockets SF
I couldn’t separate these two in my rankings, either. The best bromance.
79 Jeremy Lin Houston Rockets PG
He still makes plays and can win you a game. Some gave up, I haven’t.
78 DeAndre Jordan Los Angeles Clippers C
This high flyer seems to have hit his ceiling. Get it?
77 Harrison Barnes Golden State Warriors SF
Hopefully takes the sixth-man role in stride; he could thrive in it.
76 Gordon Hayward Utah Jazz SF
I guess he’s good? I don’t really know, this ranking is pure hearsay.
75 George Hill Indiana Pacers PG
A nice piece of a bigger picture. Does not threaten as a solo unit.
74 Danny Green San Antonio Spurs SG
So he’s mastered the 3-pointer, now he needs to add to his arsenal.
73 Danny Granger Indiana Pacers SF
Can’t start Granger over Lance Stephenson. Don’t mess with success.
72 Kevin Martin Minnesota Timberwolves SG
Weird thinking that Oklahoma City was too much pressure for Martin, but it’s true.
71 Danilo Gallinari Denver Nuggets SF
Hopefully he’s still as dynamic after his injury. New coach and cast will make returning even more difficult.
70 Lance Stephenson Indiana Pacers SG
From the Kawhi Leonard class of guys whose ceiling we don’t know. Defensive prowess, scoring ability and swagger — a deadly combination.
69 Anderson Varejao Cleveland Cavaliers PF
Just rebound, baby. And don’t get hurt.
68 Andrew Bynum Cleveland Cavaliers C
I don’t care how his hair looks, when he comes back, he’s going to be a major player.
67 Eric Gordon New Orleans Pelicans SG
Seems utterly indifferent at times on the court; waste of talent.
66 Larry Sanders Milwaukee Bucks C
Haven’t seen him play a ton, but he provides energy and an identity for Milwaukee.
65 Kenneth Faried Denver Nuggets PF
The Manimal needs to learn how to play a game at a reasonable speed.
64 Jamal Crawford Los Angeles Clippers SG
If you aren’t careful, Crawford can still dominate you.
63 Manu Ginobili San Antonio Spurs SG
Needs a resurgent season after last year’s playoffs.
62 J.R. Smith New York Knicks PG
Some young bucks settle down as they get older, others go crazy. Smith’s getting crazy.
61 Monta Ellis Dallas Mavericks PG
Last chance of sorts for Ellis. He’ll have plenty of opportunity in Big D.
60 Brandon Jennings Detroit Pistons PG
For a scoring point guard, Jennings faces a hell of a task in satisfying Detroit’s frontcourt.
59 Rudy Gay Toronto Raptors SF
Is he not as good or just in Toronto? Who nose!?
58 Andre Drummond Detroit Pistons C
Drummond is still developing, but how will offseason change his career?
57 Paul Millsap Atlanta Hawks PF
I don’t know why this offseason pairing happened. Millsap is good, but not great. Might be good enough to keep Atlanta mediocre.
56 Al Jefferson Charlotte Bobcats C
Could thrive in Charlotte, could screw up their tanking plans.
55 Carlos Boozer Chicago Bulls PF
Much maligned in Chicago, but has been a steady source of offense.
54 Nate Robinson Denver Nuggets PG
Name me five better players in last year’s playoffs and I’ll move him lower.
53 Jrue Holiday New Orleans Pelicans PG
As is true with every Pelican, no idea how the team’s revamping will affect his game.
52 Anthony Davis New Orleans Pelicans PF
Davis would be a junior in college. Instead he’s blossoming in the NBA.
51 DeMarcus Cousins Sacramento Kings PF
This year could be bad for Cousins and Sacramento.
50 Jimmy Butler Chicago Bulls SG
And climbing. Can he be Scottie Pippen? The thing is, maybe he can.
49 Ricky Rubio Minnesota Timberwolves PG
OK, finally. Now let’s watch this Rubio-Love combo work.
48 Mike Conley Memphis Grizzlies PG
Conley is developing into a near-elite point guard. Near elite.
47 David Lee Golden State Warriors PF
Golden State didn’t suffer as much as we thought in the playoffs sans Lee. Your move, Lee.
46 Pau Gasol Los Angeles Lakers PF
Still the smoothest Gasol. Can’t argue with his body of work.
45 Andre Iguodala Golden State Warriors SF
This is the best situation of his career. He should shine as a second option.
44 Klay Thompson Golden State Warriors SG
Currently the No. 2 in G-State, but he could end up fitting well as a third option.
43 Amar’e Stoudemire New York Knicks PF
This isn’t even a joke. He’s still very talented. He’s just in a losing situation.
42 Greg Monroe Detroit Pistons PF
Detroit’s scariest player. Great skill set with all the potential in the world.
41 Steve Nash Los Angeles Lakers PG
Nash could see a resurgence in a more tranquil Los Angeles.
40 Damian Lillard Portland Trailblazers SG
Lillard is thus far a stat filler without a signature style. That’ll change.
39 John Wall Washington Wizards PG
Wall may be better than this. Depends on how he’s matured as a basketball player.
38 Brook Lopez Brooklyn Nets C
His biggest weakness is rebounding. Well, now he doesn’t have to. So good for him.
37 Kevin Garnett Brooklyn Nets PF
If he can get on the same page as Jason Kidd, Brooklyn could work out well for Garnett.
36 Luol Deng Chicago Bulls SF
Deng’s greatness is in his consistency. Needs to stay injury free, though.
35 Tyson Chandler New York Knicks C
Poseidon Chandler may be aging. But the paint is still his raging sea for now.
34 Ty Lawson Denver Nuggets PG
A little sparkplug that needs to get better at making teammates better.
33 Zach Randolph Memphis Grizzlies PF
It’s been awhile since 2010. He’s falling, aging, fading, but he’s still capable of dominance.
32 Josh Smith Detroit Pistons PF
Is he old? I don’t even know. If he can still play small forward, Detroit will contend.
31 Al Horford Atlanta Hawks C
I wonder what living through this Atlanta era has done to his psyche.
30 Serge Ibaka Oklahoma City Thunder C
Still waiting for him to take the leap. Oklahoma City will go as he goes.
29 Blake Griffin Los Angeles Clippers PF
Overscrutinized is Blake Griffin. Hurts when greatness is expected.
28 David West Indiana Pacers PF
Will West sustain his effort through an 82-game slog? Indiana hopes so.
27 Kawhi Leonard San Antonio Spurs SG
When he drops the humility and asserts himself, he’ll be a star.
26 Kyrie Irving Cleveland Cavaliers PG
The time is now for Irving to make his ascension into the league’s top tier of players.
25 Dirk Nowitzki Dallas Mavericks PF
Dirk must feel like he’s lost in purgatory.
24 Marc Gasol Memphis Grizzlies C
The rock of Memphis’s rock solid defense and a great passer.
23 Joakim Noah Chicago Bulls C
Can be the best center in the NBA if he combines energy with consistency.
22 LaMarcus Aldridge Portland Trailblazers PF
LaMarcus is just hoping the pieces around him can kick into gear.
21 Paul Pierce Brooklyn Nets SF
The Truth is a sleepy scorer. But will he score enough to stay happy?
20 Joe Johnson Brooklyn Nets SG
Another sleepy scorer for Brooklyn. Can he work as part of a whole?
19 Rajon Rondo Boston Celtics PG
Boston is encouraging all the vacation time Rondo wants to take.
18 Deron Williams Brooklyn Nets PG
It’s his job to put it all together and make it all work. That’s a lot of pressure.
17 Dwyane Wade Miami Heat SG
LeBron James is Dwyane Wade’s 401k. Dude is dusty. Still the old him in spurts, though.
16 Chris Bosh Miami Heat PF
Bosh has to step up and be this team’s second best player this year.
15 Kevin Love Minnesota Timberwolves PF
How many great years can Love put up in Minny before he leaves it?
14 Roy Hibbert Indiana Pacers C
If Hibbert played hard for 82 games, Indiana would clinch a one seed easily.
13 Tim Duncan San Antonio Spurs PF
He’s still going. And going. And going. And we won’t question him for now.
12 Paul George Indiana Pacers SF
Paul George is great and getting better. LeBron’s biggest individual threat.
11 Carmelo Anthony New York Knicks SF
Carmelo’s brand of basketball does not lead to championships. It’s a tragedy, honestly. Poor guy.
10 Kobe Bryant Los Angeles Lakers SG
No idea how he’ll come back, but his legacy isn’t finished being made yet.
9 Stephen Curry Golden State Warriors PG
Can the shooting keep up? Can he complement the shooting? Let’s hope so.
8 Russell Westbrook Oklahoma City Thunder PG
The Thunder need Russell as much as KD. He needs to get back as soon as possible if the Thunder want the West’s top seed.
7 Dwight Howard Houston Rockets C
All the tools you could want. But you can’t fix a broken engine. Is his broke?
6 James Harden Houston Rockets SG
Freed from the shadows in Oklahoma City, he showed his aptitude for stardom.
5 Chris Paul Los Angeles Clippers PG
What about Chris Paul indicates championship contention? Nothing, yet.
4 Derrick Rose Chicago Bulls PG
Rose is back, and he has to remind a lot of people about a lot of things.
3 Tony Parker San Antonio Spurs PG
When Parker plays, the whole offense is under his control. It’s magical.
2 Kevin Durant Oklahoma City Thunder SF
Imagine the NBA without LeBron. Durant still might be the league’s No. 2. He needs to turn up his attitude.
1 LeBron James Miami Heat SF
The entire basketball world is at his mercy. Have mercy, Bron. Have mercy.