The independent student newspaper at the University of Illinois since 1871

The Daily Illini

Editorial: The 4 worst date ideas on campus

With Valentine’s Day approaching, The Daily Illini is hosting a competition where students can share their worst dating experiences. The person who had the most awful date will win a grand prize. Even though this sounds great, we don’t want anyone to be subjected to any of these horrific dating scenarios we’ve been reading in the submissions. And since all of us on the Editorial Board are obviously dating casanovas and previous “Bachelor” contestants, we decided to share our advice for the places you should NEVER bring a first date.

The Silver Bullet

Boy did you choose a good one, huh? You thought it would be a good idea to take the gal of your dreams to the Silver Bullet. Wow. Bravo.

Well, what are we supposed to tell you? Do you feel uncomfortable? You thought that going to the local strip club was a good idea for a first date, because any strip club screams romance. The smell of sweat and spilled drinks will definitely lead to some great conversation about the environment. I’m sure the bachelor party group will be cool and won’t tease you at all. Trust us.

You’re a big spender too, aren’t you?  Don’t forget the dollar bills. Nothing screams romance like a dollar. You really spent quite a lot there. And it shows.

So congrats, we’re sure that this’ll go well. Remember, don’t get a number, and try to keep eye contact with your date only.

An Illini basketball game

You got two floor seats to the game? In theory, this sounds like the best day of your life — a first date with the person you like and 10 of your favorite tall dudes on a court. But what if your significant other doesn’t share your affinity for greasy popcorn and free throws? What if they don’t even know what a free throw is? So while you are jumping and screaming for the team you love so much you lose your voice, they awkwardly sit there counting down the minutes left in the half. Even if they do love the sport, you aren’t gonna get much bonding done in between dunks and three-pointers. At least in the early stages of a relationship, stick to activities where you can get to know each other. There’s no need to jump through hoops.

Mom’s and Dad’s Weekend

College hookups can come and go, but your parents’ love is forever. Regardless of this, please don’t schedule a first date on Mom’s or Dad’s Weekend. It’s great to get mom’s approval but nothing will make your date run for the hills faster than a family dinner when they barely even know you. That being said, any parents’ weekend is an ideal first date opportunity if you’re on the prowl for a more experienced companion.

The humble dorm room

Netflix and chill? Please, do better than this. We’re not saying you can never hang out in your dorm — going out to dinner every night can be a bit too pricey for us regular college students. But the point here is it can be awkward to meet in a private place when you barely know someone, and more importantly, it can be extremely uncomfortable for your roommate who is sitting two feet away (we’ve all been there). Those on the bottom bunk can hear what’s happening above, people.

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