Communicate your sexual needs in the bedroom

By Zoe Lewis-Nielsen, Staff Writer

Knowing yourself and your needs is essential in any relationship. Sexual needs are also a significant aspect of romantic intimacy. Sexual needs have often been considered taboo in the past, especially for women. Increasingly, it is becoming more acceptable to discuss these topics and share insights. The most important thing to remember in any sexual relationship is that both parties have equal control. Both people should be responsive and caring for their partner’s needs. At any point in a relationship, it is okay to stop or pause sexual acts. Be honest and open about your boundaries. People always say communication is key, and that does not change regarding sex.

Asking for more or less of something sexual is, for lack of a better word, awkward. No one wants to make a partner feel like they are not delivering enough or doing something wrong. Pick a partner you know and trust to avoid awkward situations. Another tip is to be confident in yourself and knowing your worth. If you know you are worthy, the other person will listen to you. There is a considerably large stigma around even being pleasured. More often than not, people would choose not to fully enjoy themselves instead of having the conversation to make their interactions better. It is much more beneficial for both parties to feel comfortable expressing their wants sexually. When having sexual relationships, it is imperative to be confident enough in yourself and your relationship to initiate these conversations.

Sex isn’t going to be perfect every time, even if you have the best communication. If any issues arise, take it as an opportunity to talk about them instead of festering in disdain for the other person. However, there’s one rule that should be a given: You need to respect your partner’s boundaries, and never push your partner to do something they’re uncomfortable doing. If they say “no” or show any apprehension, it’s your job to stop what you’re doing and not escalate the situation any further. A relationship is a two-way street, and sex is the most intimate act people can enjoy.

In some cases, sex is the glue that keeps everything together. If your partner isn’t feeling something sexually, don’t treat it as an opportunity to bring it up until they cave in and go with it. It’s a shame to see so many relationships fail because one partner can’t value the other enough to respect sexual boundaries.

When it comes to sex, it can sometimes be hard to get both people on the same page, but bringing in new elements can help spice up the romance. The best thing is to communicate and reach a common understanding. Whether that means toys or just a bit more foreplay, mixing things up can add a lot to a sexual relationship. Wanting change or spicier sex is not something to be ashamed of, and your partner might have these desires as well. Remember your needs and wants are valid, but be mindful of your partner’s needs, too. Be safe, and always take care. 

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