Fun in C-U this summer

By Jonathan Jacobson

Finals are over and, for whatever reason, you happen to be staying in C-U. You have to make the best of the situation, and you can thank The Daily Illini for helping you out. We offer, for your reading pleasure, a list of 10 exciting ways to spend your time here, for better or worse.

1. Stare into space. Knowing that your friends all have successful internships or lucrative jobs would normally prevent you from having fun, but the sun is shining, you have no homework, and there are plenty of pretty colors.

2. Go to the batting cages or mini-golfing. The final recourse for pre-pubescent teenagers may be your best bet over the summer here in Champaign-Urbana. Hang out with high schoolers and families, and convert your leftover laundry change into fastballs. Check out Putt Putt Golf Course at 815 Dennison Drive.

3. Go golfing for real. Pretend you are a middle-aged tycoon, looking for a break from upper-class clients and stressful family relationships. You can even wear plaid pants. Try the Lake of the Woods Golf Course in Mahomet at 405 N. Lake of the Woods Road.

4. Make new friends. Now is a chance to distance yourself from that annoying roommate or high school friend who won’t leave you alone. Perhaps you might even alter your personality to meet the needs of your newfound amigos.

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5. Hassle library employees. Go find the latest fiction by David Sedaris or pick up one of the library’s elusive three copies of “The Da Vinci Code.”

6. Start your own rock band. Sure, you have zero musical skill and your voice sounds like a screeching tire, but that didn’t stop The Stooges. Try a Kelly Clarkson tribute band and go with the bass: no one plays it and even fewer are good at it.

7. Tan on the Quad. Now that no one’s watching, you can set your love handles and pimply back free. Don’t forget the sleeveless t-shirt to get your authentic Champaign farmer’s tan.

8. Go to townie bars. This actually goes along with making new friends, but now they can be a collection of rascals and rogues.

9. Head to a drive-in movie theater. Looking to relive your childhood dreams that began when you saw “Grease” and “American Graffiti?” What better way than to hide your friends in the trunk, make out and propose to your girlfriend with a cubic zirconia ring.

10. Take down The Man. The summer is the perfect time to get back at The Man for all the ways He’s kept you down. Maybe next summer you’ll get that internship.