These days, it’s difficult to sit through a lecture and not have your learning experience (or nap) interrupted by the jingle of someone’s cell phone as it receives an incoming call. With the advances in modern technology, you’re often treated to a few seconds of techno music as the phone’s owner frantically shuffles to hit the “silent” button. Occasionally, you have an instance in which the phone in someone’s pocket is pinned up against her desk at a bad angle. When a call comes in, it vibrates violently – like a jackhammer resonating throughout the lecture hall. And then there’s the guy in your psychology class who treats everyone to thirty seconds of Bob Marley’s “Smoke 2 Joints.” He decides to not turn his phone off because a) He’s too embarrassed to draw attention to himself (unfortunately, everyone knows it’s him anyway), b) Mon, he’s too busy jammin’ or c) He’s too stoned to figure out what the hell is going on.

In the near future, lectures could be interrupted by new sounds coming from cell phones. And no, I’m not referring to the latest beats and melodies from Ludacris. These noises will emanate from the one and only Jenna Jameson – star of critically acclaimed films like Vajenna and That’s a Mouthful! A mobile music and entertainment company named Wicked Wireless will provide the service, and let’s just say it won’t be called “Jenna Sings the Hits.”

In an interview with Reuters, Dennis Adamo, the head of Wicked Wireless, explained the thought process behind the idea. “Rock stars make music tones, and porn stars make moan tones. We thought it would be an interesting, novel approach of introducing new content to the mobile users.”

Moans, groans, grunts and various other explicit noises from the lusty Jameson are available for just $2.50. In addition, nude pictures of the porn star for display on your cell phone can be purchased for just $2.99 each. Tragically, these features are currently available only to cellular customers in Latin America, as there has yet to be a U.S. carrier to pick up the service.

When learning about the new offering, one excited customer exclaimed, “If you can get her to say my name, then I’d buy it. I need that kind of personal attention.” Look buddy, if you’re pathetic enough to rely on a digitized Jenna Jameson for personal attention, it’s safe to assume that you’ll rarely hear her get off because no one will ever call you. Well, no one besides your mom.

Whenever a phone rang in my finance lecture a few years ago, the professor would respond lightheartedly with, “Tell my broker to sell!” But how do you respond to a climaxing mobile device with an impending eruption explosive enough to make Mount St. Helens look like a first grade science project? How about “Turn that f***ing thing off!?” Most professors would probably find that to be a bit unprofessional, however.

A vocal Jenna Jameson added to cell phones owned by college guys has the makings of immature, yet humorous situations. As you might know, college life routinely makes 22-year-old men act like 12-year-old boys – myself included. Presenting itself is a new world of fraternity initiation pranks to pull during large lectures. Did you go “coyote ugly” on the girl you hooked up with last night? Just screen her calls by assigning her phone number to one of Jameson’s lurid yelps. Want to embarrass a friend in class who has your number “Jamesoned” in his phone? Just call him up. Ah, technology at its finest.

This is just the newest feature in the long line of cellular innovations. Many people are now unfazed when Chingy’s “Holidae Inn” blares from a cell phone speaker in the middle of Econ 102. But, the sounds of a woman having the time of her life would be a real head-turner. A little Jenna can go a long way.