Where has the courage to make a stand gone? What happened to having the personal courage to go up to someone face to face and stand up for what you believe in?

Since my enrollment in this University I have had three instructors e-mail me if they had a problem with something I have said or done in their classes. Not one asked me to wait after class and talked to me about it. In each case, I had no idea the instructor had an issue with me. It wasn’t until I opened up an e-mail that I was confronted with the problem. One of the instructors in question would only address the issue through e-mail.

Why the fear of confrontation? I am not equal to a faculty member. If they need something to change in my behavior, or anyone in their classes, then that is what should happen. They are in a position of authority.

Yet three out of the four semesters I have been here, I have gotten an e-mail patronizing me as a potentially “great student” and then requesting me to change something. ÿ

I can understand that talking to face-to-face might not be the easiest thing. That does not, however, make it right for an instructor to hide behind their computer screen and the void of the Internet to confront me or any other student here on campus. The same holds true in the work place, or in any interpersonal relationship.

Up the same alley, a friend of mine was dumped by her long-term boyfriend this week. Rather then pick up the phone or go see her, he did it via an instant message. He’s a coward, and if you have ever done anything like that you are a coward, too. Rather than see the look of hurt on her face or face the fall out from his actions, he took the easy road and did it in a highly impersonal way.

What really frustrates me is that this seems to be a more and more common thing. I ask again, where are the courageous in this day and age? Was my friend’s now-ex going to have to confront her being negative toward him had he been more personal? Yes. That is exactly what makes him a coward. ÿ

He sidestepped as much responsibility for his actions as he could, just like those instructors of mine did. They sidestepped the risk of seeing me get upset by sending an e-mail. Eventually, this sort of sidestepping and chickening out can have serious and detrimental consequences if it leaves the one-on-one arena and enters the work place, social circle, or classroom.

When something escalates from a personality conflict to a problem between more then the two grieved parties, the blame game starts. Now the combatants feel the need to defend their positions, call into question the others integrity and generally raise a fuss. If they had had the courage to step up and speak face-to-face, and in a constructive manner, with the person from the start it probably wouldn’t have happened that way.

My detractors will say that some people do not make themselves approachable. I don’t think that matters. In any situation where a person feels a change needs to be made, it is all about that person. It is up to the concerned person to have the intestinal fortitude to stand up for what they believe is right.

By not doing so they are failing themselves, they’re principles and those around them. There is no excuse to let fear control your actions.

Moreover, if you do let yourself be a victim of fear, you have no right to complain about the consequences. ÿYou should have gotten a face-to-face with the person in the first place.

Tom Amenta is a sophomore in LAS. He has never had a problem with confrontation. His column appears on Mondays. He can be reached at opinions @dailyillini.com.