COLUMN: Obamachrist Superstar

By Eric Naing

Our own Barack Obama has such a promising future in American politics that Time Magazine has placed him on the fast track to the presidency.

But is he really the best person for the job? Some point to his lack of experience as a reason why Obama is not fit for the presidency. But many overlook another reason: his potential to bring about “the end of days” and destroy civilization as we know it.

The Antichrist is only mentioned a few fleeting times in the Bible. The only time Jesus actually discusses it is when he says, “Whoever is not with me is against me.” Sound familiar? Yes, President Bush uttered practically these exact words shortly after Sept. 11, 2001. Furthermore, Bush has repeatedly stated that God tells him what to do and that “God speaks through me.” So by transitive property, if President Bush is the modern incarnation of Jesus Christ and Senator Obama is a potential leader of the party that is opposed to Bush, then Obama must be “anti” Christ.

Further proof comes from always-reliable Wikipedia which states that “the Antichrist will be assassinated halfway through the Tribulation” only to be revived by Satan to carry on for three and a half more years. Considering that U.S. presidents serve two terms of four years, it would not be surprising if the “Tribulation” is Obama’s presidency and that he is assassinated and revived at the start of his second term.

Intrepid LiveJournal user Kynn and the blog Unfogged have explored the darkest, most Christian corners of the Internet and discovered a terrible truth: Barack Obama is the Antichrist. According to various Web sites with UFO clip art in their background, the Antichrist is charismatic, politically gifted and from a foreign land, all of which sort of describe our junior senator.

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    One member of notes, “When I first heard of Barak, a few days ago, the first thing I heard is that he is a guy who came out of nowhere and now many flock to his side. When my wife and I heard this, we both thought the same thing, the Antichrist.” This is funny because I thought literally the exact same thing when I first heard of Ann Coulter.

    Referring to Obama’s ugly 2004 Illinois Senate race against Republican Jack Ryan, one concerned Christian writes, “When the whites start accepting a black man over a white man, and the white man has a great political career, then that is either a miracle from God, or the part of a bigger plan.” Of course, this is ignoring the fact that said white man’s political career was ended by his penchant for forcing his ex-wife to go to sex dungeons.

    Another asks, “Who referred to Obama as a man who can help heal the division in our nation?” It also angrily declares that “only God can HEAL our nations divisions!!!” Well put. How dare Sen. Obama try and bring together our divided electorate. Only God or His chosen scion, George “uniter, not a divider” Bush, is allowed to do that.

    But is Obama really the Antichrist? Would “Obama ’08” bumper stickers be the mark of the beast? Does it matter that “barak” is a Hebrew word for lightning and that the Bible describes Satan as “lightning fall from heaven”? Probably not.

    It is sad, but not surprising that one of the first legitimate non-white presidential candidates is being called the Antichrist. Obama’s Christian credentials are practically unimpeachable. Many of the questions about his heritage and his political prowess have more to do with racism than religion. Is it that hard to believe that a black man could be that talented and not cause the end of the world?

    If Sen. Obama were to throw his hat into the ’08 presidential ring, I would gladly support him. Of course, for Republicans, voting for Obama would be an abomination, or should I say “Obamanation.”