Ahhhhh, there’s nothing like the summertime. It’s hard enough to pick up a pencil, let alone write anything meaningful. Everywhere you look outside is a happy face soaking up some sunshine, often plastered on a hideous monster holding hands with a gorgeous lady.

Maybe that was a bit harsh. But don’t act like you have no idea what I’m talking about. We’ve all been guilty of that gut reaction when we see a not-so-good looking guy with an attractive woman: “Is he really with HER?”

Is it just summer love in the air that’s bringing together beauty and the beast? Or is there something more that’s hooking up these unlikely couples?

Just when you’re about to cry yourself to sleep, wondering “Why not me?,” the experts give you hope.

According to the Journal of Family Psychology, the key to living happily ever after is simple: the woman must be more attractive than her man. The study titled, “Beyond Initial Attraction: Physical Attractiveness In Newlywed Marriage,” found that marriages between hot women and ugly men are happier.

Eighty-two newlywed couples in the first six months of marriage were observed through videotape, and their behavior towards one another was rated. Attractiveness was measured by the “universal” standards of beauty.

Apparently beauty is not only in the eye of the beholder, but on a convenient list at our disposal. Some of the tenants that determine whether you’re a “hottie” or “nottie” include large eyes, facial symmetry, and waist-hip ratios.

From my own experience, large eyes get you nothing aside from being called tweety or woodland creature. But as far as facial symmetry goes, I have been ridiculed for my lopsided butt chin. That being said, the experts may be on to something. How many unattractive women do you see with attractive men?

Let’s take a look at some celebrity couples that are often considered to fit this mold. Natalie Portman has a way of making jaws drop, only to be quickly picked up and washed with Clorox after catching a glimpse of her boyfriend Devendra Banhart. What comes to mind when you think of Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony? His singing can’t be that good. What about Jay-Z and Beyonce? Does his lack of looks have her crazy in love?

Researchers believe that evolutionarily speaking, those relationships are here for the long haul. While women have always trapped men for babies, men have hunted foxes. Of course these hypotheses get complicated when intelligence, money, power, and personality get involved.

So basically we’re back at square one, and a woman’s mind remains a fickle mistress.

Before long, summer will be gone. So for all you desperately looking for love, maybe you should take the experts’ advice. If you’re looking for a fling, bug those eyes out and exploit angles which even out your face. If wedding bells ring in your head, shoot for a look somewhere between George Costanza and Billy Bob Thornton. And if you’re a lonely bachelor striking out, don’t sweat it. It’s just the world saying, “Man, you’re good looking.”

Sujay is a senior in biochemistry and is thrilled he worked in the phrase “fickle mistress.” This summer is off to a great start.