There’s a code of ethics in the news media which, as far as I can tell, serves no practical purpose. You’d sell a lot more papers if you could make up headlines like “McCain grows to colossal size; uses laser-vision to slash budget.” That’s why working at Fox News is such a plum job – they don’t worry about things like “journalistic ethics.”

Here’s what Fox did last week. After New York Times media reporter Jacques Steinberg wrote accurately about “ominous” ratings trends for Fox News, which is losing ground to CNN and MSNBC, anchors on the “Fox & Friends” morning show called Steinberg’s work a “hit piece.” They also referred to Steinberg and his editor, Steven Reddicliffe, as “attack dogs.” So far, the network was still within the bounds of standard journalistic practices – you see this stuff all the time from respected media, like NPR’s recent report, “Peggy Noonan: Stupid Tramp Or What?”

But Fox News went beyond its trademark name-calling when it aired doctored images of Steinberg and Reddicliffe, passing them off as real. Reddicliffe’s face was narrowed, his teeth yellowed, his eyes darkened, and his brow enlarged to the point you could project movies onto it. Steinberg got a giant chin, giant ears, a giant nose, beady eyes, and a penis growing out of his forehead.

Okay, there was no penis on Jacques Steinberg. (Not in the photo, I mean.) But his Photoshopped face was added to a photo of a poodle, with Reddicliffe’s fake mug pasted on the head of guy holding the leash. The whole thing was a pretty underhanded move, even for Fox News (motto: “Bare and Phallused”).

At least I thought it was out of the norm, until I read Times columnist David Carr’s piece on Monday. Carr wrote about Fox’s reputation for dragging journalists who report negative things about it through the mud. Fox employees do this both in their programs and through a network of conservative internet outlets, making it a lot like the Salem Witch Trials, but with fewer silly hats and more blogging.

Well, that sort of publicity sounds pretty good to me. I’m a columnist at a college newspaper, for crying out loud. I need to get my name out there! So in the hopes of national exposure, I thought about going after Fox News with some childish name-calling.

But unlike the most watched news channel in the world, I’m too mature for that. Instead I’ll share a true story that gets at the root of the Fox News problem, before it grows into a tree of spin so large it blocks out the sunlight of truth from the flowers of hope in the forest of cable news near the Geraldo Rivera of pretension, or whatever. Metaphors aren’t really my thing.

In 2004, University of Illinois alumnus and then-President of MSNBC Rick Kaplan spoke to one of my journalism classes. He told us about his relationship with Roger Ailes, the former media consultant for Presidents Nixon, Reagan and Bush the elder, who has run Fox News since its inception. Ailes has also eaten babies for sport. No, he hasn’t. But he did win awards for journalistic integrity, including a couple of Pulitzers. No, he hasn’t.

As best as I remember, Kaplan told us Ailes would say mean things about Kaplan publicly, things that even bothered Kaplan’s mother. This wasn’t a big deal, Kaplan explained, because he and Ailes were buddies and Ailes didn’t actually mean anything by it – he was just building hype. In other words, the president and ideological center of Fox News was willing to lie and berate a friend for a little attention.

So maybe Steinberg and Reddcliff shouldn’t worry too much. Maybe Fox News is just following Ailes’s example. Maybe the network is trying to make friends.

But it’s more likely they’re just a bunch of doodie-heads.

Okay, maybe a little name-calling.

Scott is a third-year law student. He would like any doctored photos to play down his receding hairline.