Quad day is as predictable as a Disney Channel Original Movie. The storyline may vary slightly, but the characters are never new. Booths are in different places each year, but the registered student organizations remain relatively the same and are represented by virtually the same students.

If you want your Quad Day to end as gloriously as all three High School Musical movies, you’ve got to know your main players and attack accordingly. Strategy is key, and the best ones are formulated according to the following five people you meet on Quad Day:

1. The person who is way too into his RSO. 

This encounter is most common and most dangerous. Something about you has caught the attention of the overenthusiastic president of some RSO, and he is 110 percent certain his group needs you. Don’t make eye contact unless you want to spend at least 10 minutes learning why you’re the club’s missing piece. Been there, done that. Please, for me, don’t give Mr. Peppy your e-mail unless you’re genuinely interested. My experience was with the women’s rowing team — I’m built for it, apparently. I was sought out three different times by three separate members of the team freshman year. They called for me from across a sea of hundreds. Nothing against the rowers, but it wasn’t my thing, though they nearly flattered me into thinking it was. Steer clear.    

2. The one person you’ve made it your undergraduate mission to avoid. 

Maybe it’s that guy or gal from high school who asked you to homecoming for four consecutive years despite your unwavering denial. Or maybe it’s the girl from your dorm days who over-shares. She’ll be the first person you see, kicking things off with a story about the new kitten her dad surprised her with when she came home from summer vacation after she broke up with her boyfriend. You have to end the conversation quickly or the next thing you know you’ll be spending your Thursday lunch breaks with her in Lincoln Hall’s Latte Da. My go-to: “Oh my gosh, I have to go find (insert friend’s name), I have his phone! I’ll find you later.” Bye.

3. The freshman who can’t say no. 

Us seasoned veterans of Quad Day, we’ve been there. I promise you that you’ll never use the drink koozie being offered at that one booth, and it’s 20 degrees too hot and 20,000 people too crowded to lug those free generic T-shirts around all day. Also, you probably don’t love October that much to be signing up for October Lovers club, and it’s unlikely you’ll ever make it to those meetings. Spare yourself the emails. Avoid being this person. Here, no is almost always the right answer. Do you want to sign up to receive emails? No. Will you have time to partake in the weekly activities for the 12 clubs you’ll be getting emails from? No. A word from the wise, this pervades Quad Day. Do I need to get Fat Sandwich? No. Attend every class? No. Do you want to come over at 3 a.m.? NO. Embrace it.    

4. The people who are fun to look at. 

See, Quad Day isn’t all bad. The day is riddled with entertainment, from the tight-rope walkers to the Speedo-clad members of water-related clubs to the poor souls suffering through the day in jeans and a black T-shirt. People-watching is a must, a Quad Day rite of passage. But while observing your fellow University brethren, remember to keep your guard up for person one and two. Look as unapproachable as possible.

5. The people with free giveaways. 

I’ve listed them last to denote importance. Find them and find them fast. With temperatures typically reaching the high 90s on this day, you’re not in the position to pass up free bottles of water, regardless of who’s handing them out. And free cookies are just the fuel you need to keep yourself going. Plus, who wouldn’t want to win an X-box?

And with that, you’re set. Sign up modestly and avoid adamantly. Choose the free drink, not the empty, plastic giveaway cup. But if you do find yourself breaking these cardinal rules, all is not lost. It’s what Quad Day is all about.

Bailey is a senior in Media. She can be reached at bebryan2@dailyillini.com.