I'll be back…Unfortunately


By Logan Weeter

Halloween’s over and everyone has retired their costumes, but this past Sunday, terror struck my heart in the form of a tweet. I knew the entertainment industry was sleazy, but I never imagined that they would stoop this low.

On Sunday, CBS announced development of a new “Star Trek” series. A real, living, breathing human being legitimately believed that taking the masterpiece that was the “Star Trek” series and stretching it into 2017 would actually be a good idea.

It seems as if the human race has learned nothing from the horrible “Star Wars” prequels and how badly those films scarred the overall franchise.

As if this weren’t bad enough, I recently found out that Matthew Tolmach, the man responsible for the two recent “Spider Man” rehashes (which existed for copyright’s sake), has announced his role in producing a remake of “Jumanji.”

Twenty years after the movie that we all love has settled down into the happy recesses of our minds, there are people who really want to bring that out and mess with it — not cool.

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    If the entertainment industry is trying to make quality material that audiences will love, there’s no way that making copious amounts of remakes is the way to go; people should love and respect their classics enough to not welcome the new versions with open arms.

    “Star Trek,” “Jumanji,” the new “Fantastic Four;” it seems like everywhere you look, you’re seeing remakes, rehashes and extensions of old works of art. Everyone I talk to seems to think that this is the cause of the entertainment industry running out of ideas, but the way I see it, our own culture is causing this.

    Because of how great we view our original forms of entertainment, people feeding us polished new 21st century versions of them will almost never end well.

    Our culture has adopted an obsession with the past, and the fact that we express this almost religious adoration for classics screams to the Hollywood and the media that we have a desire for past, acclaimed works to be remade and redone — feeding into a lack of originality.

    Everyone’s probably seen those Facebook posts with a Power Ranger or Johnny Bravo, with the caption, “Only ’90s kids will remember this.” Tumblr and Reddit are loaded with pages dedicated to classics like “Star Wars” and “Star Trek.”

    Everybody experiences nostalgia, but with the age of the Internet, those fond memories you have of your childhood classics are thrown into the dirt and beaten down into the ground until you can’t watch an episode of “Ed, Edd ‘n’ Eddy” without cringing at the reflex visions of meme captions.

    Enough is enough, people — we all get it; Justin Timberlake’s hair looked like ramen — but get over it.

    All these blogs, subreddits and, dare I say, fanfictions of long-standing, original works considered to be masterpieces have made Hollywood and TV networks look at this constant praise of old works online.

    They see what looks like a demand for more of these works or reiterations of them. It’s easy money, so they create things like the new “Star Wars” movie and a newly announced remake of “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure,” still starring Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter — are they making a midlife crisis movie?

    These old memories embody some of the best parts of people’s childhoods, and unless the new versions of these works are overwhelmingly spectacular, people are never going to like them as much as the originals. The standard they’re being held to is just too great.

    Just google “Fantastic Four movie review,” and prepare yourself for the onslaught of rants. Some of the rants are valid film criticism, but a lot of what the critics have to say involve petty, minor jabs, because people want to make sure that original works reign supreme and will grab for any justification of that belief.

    We have to let our fond memories remain memories. Don’t beat these dead horses, respect franchises when they end and ease up on the ’90s kids memes. The entertainment industry only puts out material they believe will be received well — it’s how they make profits.

    Let your inner creativity shine through your timelines and blogs. Try to wade out of the nostalgia pool and think of cool stuff you want to see in movies.

    If enough people stop treating the past three decades as a deity, we’ll start to see a return of original works to create new admirations off of. And if you’re a student who plans on making movies as a career, I’m begging you: be original.

    I want my TV and movie theaters filled with new and exciting work, not more of the Starship Enterprise. These new works could exist; Hollywood hasn’t run out of ideas, but we need to express our desire for them.

    Logan is a freshman in LAS. [email protected]