Opinion | Love languages are important
March 31, 2020
With Valentine’s Day still in the near past and the arrival of “The Bachelor” finale, romance is on people’s minds. With spring approaching, there is more time to spend with close loved ones in the arms of nature. The thought of blooming flowers and sunny days can indicate many things, but one thing for sure is love is in the air.
One of the most wondrous things to spend time doing during these nice days is reading, and what else could a hopeless romantic like me be reading other than about love and relationships. In my quest to learn more about these topics, I have come across a revolutionary discovery: love languages.
The Five Love Languages quiz asks questions relating to how you want to express love, and the results given often turn out to be the best examples of self-love. I find that accessing this tool is useful because it allows me to grasp the concept of how the way one wants to be loved isn’t the same as how others wish to be loved. It’s simple, not everyone is the same.
Yet another way to learn more is through Gary Chapman’s book, which addresses the five love languages: quality time, physical touch, receiving gifts, acts of service and words of affirmation. He describes each one for the reader’s understanding, but here are the ways I see each of them.
The love language of quality time focuses the relationship through time spent with one another, meaning it’s important to enjoy activities together.
Physical touch is all about being present and can be as simple as hugs or holding hands.
Receiving gifts measures love by reaching out to your lover through giving them objects. Whether it be a store-bought item or homemade gift, it’s letting them know that you’re thinking of them at all times.
Acts of service are the simple tasks you do for someone else; any sort of actions to prove your affection and appreciation toward your significant other.
And words of affirmation suggest communicating verbally often.
To start off, it’s important to learn about yourself. Consider your own love language(s), and tell those around you how you choose to be loved. The best thing you can do for yourself is gain insight on your needs. Have a discussion with whoever requires to know this information about you, and this will ensure you give them the guidance he or she needs to properly meet your needs.
Think about this: Your primary love language is words of affirmation, and your partner knows this, so he or she makes it a priority to compliment you at least once a day. Hearing the words “I enjoy spending time with you,” or a straightforward “I love you,” can mean the world coming from a significant other.
Although the five love languages are centered around love in marriages and families, it’s still beneficial to relate these to other forms of relationships. Take a friendship for example, both parties should identify what makes them the happiest so that mutual trust can build. For parents, this should be something they teach to their children, so later in life they can easily express their love.
Once you’re aware about yourself and the primary love languages of those people in your life, expressing love should come to you easier than ever before. Effective communication to your partner or loved ones through their way of being loved shows appreciation. All it takes is consideration and learning.
To incorporate Chapman’s ideas into your life, try to apply these techniques on an everyday basis with others. Attempt to see how someone expresses themselves and be intentional when finding ways to express your own fondness toward them.
All I’m saying is to give it a try. Effort is a must, and with time you’ll find it was all worth it.
If you ever find yourself in trouble in your relationship, refer to the five love languages. For, you can’t change the past, but you can take the steps to make your future better. Who knows, it might just make a profound impact on your life.
Evelyn is a freshman in DGS.