I’ve played against Peyton Manning, I’ve fought against the Nazis to take back France, and I am currently in the middle of saving an entire kingdom and a (hopefully) beautiful princess. So I don’t really need a job…

As long as I have my Wii.

I’m too busy to go to an office every day after I graduate this fall because Hyrule needs me. Why make money when I can fight the Second World War until I get carpal tunnel syndrome?

It’s hard work beating other avatars at Wii bowling. There have been days when I have medicated myself into a stupor to stop my elbow from hurting, but it’s worth it when I see that ball knock the 7 pin into the 10 pin to pick up the split and give me a final score of 280.

I’m in the best shape of my life . well, at least my forearms are. The other day after I won the Super Bowl with the San Francisco 49ers, I rewarded myself with an entire large pizza. And when I looked down at my arms, glistening from the grease, I realized that I am swollen. You don’t believe me? Wait until Wii Sports 2 – Arm Wrestling gets released. I will rule that game.

My new physique has given me the confidence I never had before. I was walking through the virtual world and I ran into the most amazing-looking avatar. Her head was just the right size – three times bigger than the rest of her body. Before I was such a Wii badass, there would be no way I would think about my Mii talking to hers. But now I got her number . at least I hope it’s a her.

Now you may be wondering what the downside of this amazing life is. Well, you guessed right: there is none. I plan to live out the rest of my days planted on the easy chair that is situated perpendicular to my sensor bar.

So I’m not worried about working, and you shouldn’t be, either. What you should worry about is when you’re going to join the gaming revolution that’s taking over the country. So open up three Wii trackers and, instead of spending time online looking for jobs, scour the Internet for the best deal on the Wii. Cause who needs a job when you’ve got a Wii .

Unless it breaks.