After reading Scott Green’s opinion piece, headed “Feline owners’ mentality a catastrophe,” I have a little quiz for your readers: Scott Green is A, a very logical person; B, a witty raconteur; C, a charming empath; D, a promising young journalist. The correct answer is, of course, E (none of the above).

As for A, Mr. Green equates all cat owners with those who buy a certain device. That’s like saying that because some people buy a stupid banana peeler that I saw in the grocery store, that all banana eaters are idiots. You figure it out. As for B and D, Dave Barry he ain’t. Of course, we all have to start somewhere, but my advice to Mr. Green is to not quit his day job (do you want fries with that?).

Finally, out of order, we have C, a charming empath. It’s a hoary old canard that (domestic) cats are aloof creatures. You get out of a relationship no more than you put into it. This is true of dogs and cats, and maybe even of pet alligators. Cats, dogs, and people will respond in kind to love and affection, and, Mr. Green, if you are incapable of these things, then you’d best stay single.