The independent student newspaper at the University of Illinois since 1871

The Daily Illini

The independent student newspaper at the University of Illinois since 1871

The Daily Illini

The independent student newspaper at the University of Illinois since 1871

The Daily Illini

The independent student newspaper at the University of Illinois since 1871

The Daily Illini

    Is 27 too early to be married? Or too late?

    My mom and I argue constantly about marriage.

    If she had it her way, I’d be a wife by 27 and a mother by 30. If I had it my way, I would get married five different times. Not so much because I want five different divorces, but because I want the excitement of planning five different weddings.

    I feel like this is such a cliche declaration for many college-age girls to make, and I’m dreading the day when my hormones kick in, I see a baby and I immediately want triplets. Until then, however, I stand by my statement — that 27 is too young to settle down — and I would prefer that no newborn slides out of my uterus.

    I don’t really resent the fact that my mom wants me to be happy with a family. I do resent that she can’t see that I could be happy without one and tries to force the idea of domestic bliss on me.

    I’m getting to the age now where I hear of more and more couples getting engaged, or who are already married grad students, or even seniors in college. Especially because it’s summer, love — and weddings — is in the air. Kate and William were just the beginning; more people I know are doling out invitations and putting on white dresses.

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    The idea of marrying around my age, or even at 22, gets me queasy. Yet it wouldn’t be fair for me to judge people who do get married, especially if I don’t want to be judged for my current aversion to it.

    First, we live in a nation where not everyone can get married. Unfortunately, same-sex marriage has failed in most states; same-sex civil unions are also largely banned. We should celebrate the marriages that do happen — whether we ourselves want to get married or not — and hope that this choice can be given to everyone soon.

    Second, we live in a nation that allows anyone over the age of 18 to intermarry with different religions, races and customs — something traditionally unheard of in other countries. So again, any marriage blending two different people could be seen as a victory.

    If someone wants one spouse and no kids, one spouse and five kids or 200 spouses and 300 kids, that’s their — possibly crazy — right.

    But no one should tell anyone if they should or should not get married. Everyone should be entitled; it’s a shame that everyone is not. It’s also a shame we try to insist that marriage is either the greatest thing ever or that it’s the worst.

    With the risk of sounding like a five-year-old, dealing with a spouse and kids sounds about as much fun as head-butting a rhino. But this is my opinion, and everyone’s entitled to his or her own.

    When you feel the sudden urge to tie the knot and produce mini-visions of yourself — and when you’re ready — do it. Don’t let anyone deter you.

    But don’t worry, Mom. Regardless if I stand by the belief that marriage and motherhood are systems created for patriarchal control or cave in and reverse my statement, I’ll do everything in my power to make sure I’m happy.

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