The Daily Illini

Editorial: An Unofficial letter from Alma

Back to Article
Back to Article

Editorial: An Unofficial letter from Alma

To thy happy children (of the present),

The last time I wrote, you were approaching a big weekend, and it looks like you took my advice to heart. You celebrated Homecoming, Halloween and a Cubs’ World Series win in a way that only the mother of a Big Ten school can appreciate. I marveled at your enthusiasm and alcohol tolerance. I took pride in your relatively good behavior.

I’m writing again because we’re approaching another big weekend on campus — my sesquicentennial. It’s going to be wild.

Just kidding. I know, I don’t look a day over 125.

I’m really writing because Friday is the 21st Unofficial; I’m sure you have big plans to set your alarm clock for 6 a.m. and replace your regular chocolate frappa-caliexpialidocio-ccino with a mimosa. If you’ll allow it, I’d like to share a few tips based on what I’ve picked up over the years.

A celebration this exciting requires a week of preparation, at minimum. Of course, this means you should be responsible and get your homework done before the weekend so you can spend Sunday lying on the couch; however — possibly, more importantly — my wisest children will hit the liquor store early.

We Illini don’t make last minute runs to Binny’s on Thursday night. We like our beer cold and our champagne chilled, which means everything should be purchased by Wednesday at the latest. Make a trip on Tuesday after class and you’ll have your pick of the alcohol, without waiting in lines comparable to our campus Chipotle back in the good ol’ days.

Students should take time to revel in the fun and enjoy this (mostly) school-wide celebration. Unofficial is a fun tradition, and it’s a nice way to kick off the end of the semester.

To my eldest: enjoy the weekend and make the most of it. You deserve to celebrate after all the work you’ve done preparing for your future.

Young’uns: pace yourselves and don’t sweat the small stuff. Don’t bother with the bars — you won’t get in this weekend — and don’t get too upset if you end up running all around campus in search of a friendly party. Keep your expectations reasonable, and don’t be afraid to take a midday nap to ensure a happy night.

Middle children: you know the drill. Do whatever you’re feeling; I’ll check on you later.

All of you should make sure to wear a jacket; it’s going to be a little chilly toward the end of the week. I just want to make sure that you remember to use your noggins and make me proud.

Eat a solid breakfast, take a break for lunch, drink water at some point, you know, the usual. Have a fun, festive week and relish in the luck of the Illini.

Love,

Alma

Leave a Comment